Love...

fáilte grá!

They say love is an ugly business  - one is never happy, yet one never gets tired of it. It has come to be a routine exercise for everyone of us following the “living in the moment” method.  This speaks of a trait, to be fully present and aware of oneself and one’s needs / desires and be selfish about it – definition of present day love. It speaks of a state which seeks no observation beyond necessary, unwarranted appreciation, patience, quiet, ability to turn off the clock and put away the calendar and never expect anything in return for any love showered.

While most of us might be of the view, that we do not live in such times –  and that we truly love people in our lives. In theory, being in a relation involves learning how to pay attention, and the process of getting there is far easier than one might think. There are a few simple things one needs to do right to stay in the present and pay attention to your partner, and be of the opinion that you are in love and really care for him/her.  

If you wish to see if what you perceive as love is love indeed – there is a simple method. Close your eyes and let the sounds around you filter through you and notice the underlying noises that you may have been tuning out. Next, open your eyes and notice the colors and sights around you in this same subtle, attentive way. You may be surprised at how much you actually notice about your internal and external presence. If you try this, you will probably find that “paying attention” will take on a whole new meaning, and it will be a very nice one at that. If being in a relation puts you through a similar experience – emotionally or physically, then it is not love but just an emotional arrangement you are clinging onto. 

I hope that you can take some time this week to understand love – and not exist in relation thinking it is love. I feel sure that it will change your experience in “now” time and that's not a bad goal for starters.

Enjoy!

-         -  Abhijith Jayanthi

  Dublin, 2007

My Principles...

Many people go through life disappointed and dejected because they have lost faith in their principles – construing that all around them are happy by not following any such principles. This is a particular social psychological scenario (which is on the rise) that refers to the way in which people perceive, comprehend, and interpret the world around them – affecting their ability to realize their dreams. They find suitable and convenient excuses for falsification of such a hypothesis. Often excuses include such as due to a lack of money, fear of ridicule or failure, lack of familial support and feelings of being tied to the present situation with no way out. I imagine that all of us have experienced these feelings at one time or another. While for some of us, this negative feeling is only temporary, for others, it may be hard to accept that our dreams are actually within our reach, and possible without letting go our principles.

I think we all have the ability to achieve our dreams, but we may just need to adjust how we look at them. In other words, we may need to look at them from a different perspective. It is important that we understand that every one of us is unique and, thus exist different yardsticks to judge any moral/ethical position one takes. It is important to realize to judge ourselves and others through a structured approach at understanding which yardstick suits each of us best.

This will give you a chance to find out if it is really what you want. Serendipity happens, and it happens more often when we are actively engaged in achieving something important to us. I encourage you to let go of old excuses and start thinking about the necessity to understand the variance of judgment criteria – ways to realize what you desire without letting go your principles will follow. Think about steps that could help you get there, and take those steps. And then just imagine how wonderful you will feel once you begin your journey! Soar high!

Happy 2012!

We dreamt....

lived many such moments.

With our heart and soul

we found creative wings to see them take flight

We learn...

new methods  everyday – tangible inspirations.

With our determination

we fuel our creative spirit, experiment and grow

We will soar...

towards the sky of our bliss-filled inspiration.

With zeal and pride

let us be ourselves and live every dream.

for...there is no charm otherwise...

This New Year...let every dream of yours take flight...

        

                                                           - Abhijith Jayanthi

As we enter 2012, I wanted to share an interesting story – a story shared by a friend of mine. Long ago, there lived a learned elderly man amongst the Cherokee Tribe (for the uninitiated, Cherokee is an Indo – American Tribe). One day, he was sharing an interesting lesson with young kids of the tribe.

He said, “All through our lives, we have a fight going on – inside us. It’s a terrible fight between two wolves – one stood as a representation for emotions such as fear, anger, envy, inferiority and false pride. Another stood for joy, peace, truth, love and compassion. It is this fight that defines each of us – how we mould our lives. This fight is going on inside you and inside every other person too…”

He was interrupted by an enthusiastic kid, “Which wolf will win at the end?”

“The one you will feed…” he replied.

Let us win over our negative emotions, grow and go from strength to strength this year!

Wish you a happy and prosperous 2012!

-       Abhijith Jayanthi

Lesson : Rising Sun

This morning I was up just before dawn began to slip its soft orange glow over the eastern horizon. And even though the weather has grown colder and the days a bit cloudier, I still enjoy being up early and sitting with my first cup of coffee, watching the world around me come to life. There's just something solid as well as invigorating in being up early when the day actually begins.

I see those moments watching the sun come up a great start to my day, and it's a ritual I rarely depart from. Today, there is a lesson that I learnt – Your willingness to give up a bit of shut-eye for the personal satisfaction of doing something you truly enjoy can pay off in better physical and emotional health.  If you're a night owl – there are reasons for making the switch.

Nature prescribes change – to grow from within. People often change for two reasons. It can be either that you have learned enough that you want to change or you have been hurt enough that you see the need to. I hope you'll take a few minutes to value yourself and follow the prescription – to be a better you!

 - Abhijith Jayanthi

Date: 14 February 2010

Place : Boston

Relationships: Victims of Trust Deficit

It is important to understand how present day relationships enjoy greater degree of trust deficit – result being they are often short lived filled with selfish needs. A wise man once said, "First we try, and then we trust....” which aptly sums up the present day reality of relationships. Today, relations are initiated through a series of lies – which frame the foundation and that shall never last long.

Why did a relation not last beyond a certain point – what went wrong? Fights are common in any relation, but if both are honest with one another in a relation, they will live through it and see the brighter side. It is important that we seek true reflections of our intentions in our actions. If almost everything in one’s quaint little town of relations beguiles, from its architecture to its art to its warmth – relations do not last, and in the longer run one will lose respect for self. Relations are about trust, not about deceit or secrecy – intentions to be sincere in a relation matters the most.

Relations are meant to strengthen us emotionally and help us grow as a person – and not puncture our hopes and turn us into weak beings that simply exist. One should improve oneself to contribute and be true to every relation he is engaged with.

-          -  Abhijith

        Nov 11, 2011 – KL   

Life – A lonely Walk

Well, we human beings tend to notice the differences much easily than the similarities. Probably this is one of the reason why most of us are reluctant  to see changes. Before I proceed further, I wish to state why I intend to call life a lonely walk, perhaps its even more interesting to notice the fact that I wish to address it as  “A” rather than “The” .What most of us don’t notice or are blissfully ignorant is the thin line of difference between   understanding  what domains are to be treated as a group activity and what domains are to be treated as one’s own efforts. The existence of society, community is valid to the extent that we tend to be one among others who has got similar thought process and motivation which I wish to address by calling it  “A” lonely walk rather than “The” lonely walk. It would be appreciable if one understands that the definition of society or community ceases to exist beyond that point wherein every individual tends to create an impression about himself and his actions alone would be responsible for the image that he portrays which is the reason why I wish to call it a lonely walk.

This piece of writing was pursued during the time when I was fortunate enough to attend a talk by Steve Jobs - his life presents itself as an apt example for others to learn from. What I wish to talk about  is not about the cultural, social or political differences that exist for as a matter of fact they exist and are clear enough to be noticed. What I wish to point out  is the fact that how loneliness helps you at times in understanding what you truly are as a person and what you truly need out of life in terms of the emotional support that you need,  the freedom that you wish to enjoy and the extent of commitment that you can promise on personal and professional front.

I salute Steve Jobs for his relentless efforts to innovate and make our lives simple and better! May his soul rest in peace! (Added  Oct 8 2011) 

Date: July 23rd 2006

Posted: Simply Me!

Location: LA - CA           

Diabolic Act: Mephistophelian Glint in Her Eyes

Every relation goes through a phase when one is suppose to rediscover the reason for being in a relation...or if one cannot do so, may be move on. Not everyone is well equipped or receive formal training to handle relationships. Relationship is not something which one can restrict using a time domain. It is important to realize that the equation changes but relationship continues to exist, although with different set of rules defining the dynamic. 

We all have our own ways of mourning. For Albert, it is to literally do what his heart desires at that moment – being alone and shutting himself off from the rest of the world. Today being no different: Albert was lying on the sitting room sofa – with his legs on the window sill, his dark brown eyes staring straight up at the roof. Occasionally, he makes sounds that make no sense to the untrained ear and screams in a deafening, high-pitched tone when he cannot get to control his emotions. Every so often, he flaps his hands uncontrollably in the air. Sometimes, his body starts to violently jerk – been his daily routine since past few weeks.

Around evening – after 7 hours of staring into thin air…he rolls up his sleeves, gets up and walks towards his desk. Settling down to write his diary, he is lost in thought. It was a long entry—almost two thousand words—for his day, too, had been eventful recollecting moments of the past.

Entry in Albert’s Diary – March 11^th

I have stayed up late too many nights pondering this question. I think back of my relation. I never really understood if any bit of her emotion was true. Does that mean I’m just that naive or did I just pick the wrong woman? Almost everyone I know has been cheated on; I couldn’t be the lucky ONE that has never been through such an experience, could I? After all, most of the present day women are unfortunate reflections of destiny – a bad joke by nature which went horribly wrong.

The reason this question has been consuming my thoughts for the past six weeks is because I think we had a warm relationship – worthy enough for a decent and respectful exit. All the signs were there. She was distant and angry with me for no reason. She denied any wrong doing but her behavior - more so, her reasons, were still suspicious.

One day – truth was out. It made me feel sick to my stomach. She lived a life of thousand lies….

To be continued…

P.S.: This blog post presents a first view/glimpse of the chapter titled 'Diabolic Act: Mephistophelian Glint in Her Eyes' of my book (not yet published) titled Precocious Truth: Unrequited Love. You may read the prologue for the same here

India: A Glimpse

Ladies and Gentlemen! Namaste to all of you from India! Today, as we are sharing the perceptions here at the United Nations Alliance of Civilizations Summer School, and as I am asked to give a glimpse of my country, I apologize in advance because for a civilization with a history that, according to some sources, dates back to 6500 BC, which currently has more than 150 languages, each spoken by atleast 10,000 people and 22 official languages, a civilization that has 28 states, all of them having their own different culture, festivals, dance forms, language, art, belief system, sports, film industry, political parties, and food delicacies, a civilization that saw so many people from all over the world invade it and leave their own footprints behind with many more languages, arts and culture, it's practically impossible to give even a glimpse about a country in such a short period of time.

So, I would not like to speak about any of the above mentioned topics, nor would I like to speak about the things that are already being spoken about India - about it's booming economy, it's expertise in Science & Technology, it's recently launched world's cheapest spacecraft to moon, the Yoga, Spirituality, 1.2 billion population that's increasing every second, Ayurveda, Bollywood, Shah Rukh Khan or Amitabh Bacchan. What I would like to speak about is much more wider, and fits the context of this conference. It is something that is never spoken about specifically, but holds significance in every Indians life. It is something that influences the whole Indian mentality right from the Childhood. And it is not something that is taught formally in schools, but it is something that comes from within the Indian culture, that gets imparted from generation to generation through multiple means like Grandma's stories or spiritual gurus or children's books and comics. No one knows where this comes from exactly, but as we grow, no matter what education system Britishers would have thrust upon Indians, these teachings have been embedded so deep inside the Indian DNA that even Alexander the Great agreed he couldn't remove from the Indian gene. And this is, in my opinion, answer to one of the biggest questions that not only the whole world, but India too has for itself - that inspite of so much diversity, so many languages, so many religions with many of them having their own set of extremist thinkers and actors, sometimes exploding the bombs, sometimes killing others in the riots, inspite of all this, how does India actually work?

I would like to go back to childhood days and talk about some things that come to my mind have had an influence in my life, and I believe they have had similar influence in all the other Indians' minds as well.

1. Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam – which means that the whole world is one single family, I was taught. The concept, written in Hitopadesha - a collection of sanskrit prose and verse written in 12 C.E. - meaning ‘This is my own relative and that is a stranger’ – is the calculation of the narrow-minded. For the magnanimous-hearts, however, the entire earth is but one family'. It is also seen to be similar to the ancient African concepts like Ubuntu. This concept always comes in the path of our hatred or a feeling of difference towards any other human being.

This gigantic idea (Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam) is an exclusively Indian contribution to world peace. This ancient nation evolved a world-view based on the motto "Loka samasta sukhina bhavantu" (Let the entire world be happy) thousands of years before any League of Nations or United Nations was thought of to avoid global strife. The Indian nation evolved this grand vision not by marching its armies and conquering the rest and offering peace; but by the inner-directed pursuit of universal values by the saints living in the forests and mountains of India.

2. Jiyo aur Jeene Do - which means Live and Let Live - the concept followed and propagated by Lord Mahavir. The concept says that one should let others live their lives as they see fit. The concept Live and let live was also used as a system of conflict avoidance used in trench warfare in World War I. And this concept is embedded so deeply in the hearts of the Indians that it's no surprise that many ancient Indian belief systems find it odd to kill even a mosquito biting them, forget about initiating an attack on another country.

3. Atithi Devo Bhavah - It's a part of the verse from the Upanishads written thoudands of years ago. The verse reads as - "Matri devo bhavaḥ, Pitri devo bhavaḥ, Acharya devo bhavaḥ, Athiti devo bhavah" which means The Mother is God, the Father is God, the Teacher is God, [and] the guest is God." No wonder that still many families in India have joint families with Grandparents, Parents, Uncles and siblings staying together in one house. And no wonder that India was attacked by so many "guests" in the recent past. I still remember the story that I was told in the childhood about a pigeon couple that jumps into the fire when they see that the hunter has not been able to catch anything for the whole day and is hungry sitting in the cold forest. This concept "Guest is God" is one of the greatest contributions to the Indian thinking and it's tolerance to infinite diversity that we come across in our daily lives.

In 3000 years of our history people from all over the world have come and invaded us, captured our lands, conquered our minds. From Alexander onwards. The Greeks, the Turks, the Moguls, the Portuguese, the British, the French, the Dutch, all of them came and looted us, took over what was ours. Yet we have not done this to any other nation. We have not conquered anyone. We have not grabbed their land, their culture, their history and tried to enforce our way of life on them. Why? Because we respect the freedom of others.

In the end, I would like to read another verse that we're taught right from childhood. It is: "Sarve bhavantu sukhinah, Sarve santu niramayah.. sarve bhadraani pashyantu, ma kaschit dukhbhaak bhavet" which means "may every one be happy, may every one be free from all diseases, may every one see goodness and auspiciousness in every thing, may no one be unhappy or distressed"

And this is the India that I come from!

Vande Mataram!

P.S: This is the text format of the speech delivered by my friend Saurabh Jain at UNAoC Summer School - Portugal on 29th August 2011

Dialogue in the Dark

"I am in pain, leave me alone", Albert said it tonelessly, almost hopelessly, no anger, not even an eye-lid moved, and then he got up to move away.

Her hand waved in a feeble gesture, her bony face and cheeks contorted with shame, and then with an almost a deathly expression she blurted.

"I am still yours. Nothing has changed. I am sorry I did not mean to cheat on you. Rachel will get naked Albert, she is yours. Have me! "

Her body continued to shudder. And then all at once she was seized by despair. She clenched her teeth so as to not scream...and leaned against the wall. And then tears rolled down her pale face.

Taking a momentary pause in his stride Albert said, “True indeed. You are already naked. There is no reason for you to strip your clothing. I love you Rachel, it was never your impulsive liking for physical pleasure that attracted me. There is more to a relation, which goes beyond what usually attracts your eye. There is no reason for me to believe that you will understand my  soul crushing pain. You broke my trust again…your promise never to lie”

Rachel had been patient and stoic throughout. She continued to stare at the floor beneath her in shame. She knew it was the third time she did not keep her promise with Albert.

To be continued…

P.S.: This blog post presents a first view/glimpse of the chapter titled 'Dialogue in the Dark' of my book (not yet published) titled Precocious Truth: Unrequited Love. You may read the prologue for the same here

Beggars' Philanthropy

If you think you will be reading about few unfortunate people whom we find in our public life, then please be advised that it is not so. This post is about everyone of us, it is about our attitude towards being organized – a common crisis and thereafter.

Many of us have a complaint about feeling powerless to events influencing our life in these turbulent times we are living. Certainly there are many factors beyond our control that can affect us, such as the economy, our jobs, value of our savings or retirement plans, our mortgages, and even the weather. Rarely, we have a plan or answer to such events. Yet, we consider ill – organized planning, a result of such events.

The first thing you need to do is to work on a vision of how you want your life to be, as well as a clear plan on how to get there. It is surprising to discover that most of us are simply wandering along just letting life happen to us, all the while wishing that our dreams would come true. Why should we sit back, waiting for life to happen as it will, when we have the power to set our own goals and the energy and desire to make our dreams a reality? Setting goals puts you squarely in charge of your own life, and that is a very desirable situation.

Think about it!